We’re here to remember the woman who was Patricia Zakowski… Pat Zak to some, Granny to others, G.G. to a few... and as I look around, I see so many sad faces. This is a sad occasion, losing someone you love – but we shouldn’t think of it that way – we shouldn’t be sad, we should be celebrating. Celebrating a life! To remember how she lived and what she was like, honoring that which was good in her. Because although the woman may be gone from us, her memory and charm stay with us always.It’s hard for me to capture all of what she meant to everyone in this church. All I can offer is my perspective as a granddaughter. So, here’s my attempt to capture 70 years of a life in a mere 5 minutes – only 30 of which I ever knew. I’m sure if we all took a moment to think about Granny right now, we could conjure at least one funny story to tell… she knew how to make you laugh!
She held a child-like wonder about life that was contagious and inspiring. She was vivacious, alive. She had to be the center of attention, wherever she went – I’m sure she must have been the class clown in her school years. She had a mischievous sense of humor (even slightly wicked at times!), always pulling little pranks and silly performances out in public for us. She was most definitely what you’d call an extrovert! She got so much enjoyment out of life – she was vibrant, talkative …making easy friends wherever she would go.
She loved so many things; grandpa has even said…“everything was her favorite!” She loved animals, the beach, the water, seashells and the sun! Clothes and shoes (Imelda Marcos didn’t even hold a candle to Granny), the stars, the moon – anything unique – just like her. Teddy bears, wizards, butterflies and macaroons, jewelry, decorations, the mystical and the magical - she loved so many things… if you weren’t careful, you’d lose your favorite sweater or a pair of shoes when you went to visit if she liked them! She had a way of sweet-talking it from you, incredibly sometimes even making it seem like your own idea! She certainly had a way with words; she was a fantastic negotiator – she would have been a great saleswoman, or con artist, that’s for sure! The queen of getting free stuff – even if it was a little shady at times! I remember hearing of the time when I was only 2 years old, she got us all into Disney World with an expired hand stamp, pinching my bottom so I’d cry…to cause just enough commotion to let us in to shut me up – she knew they would! God only knows how she pulled some of the stunts she did, but she was good at it! She was relentless about prices – she never worried about what people thought of her when she was “making a deal”. But as much as she won from you, she was just as generous… anything you wanted – it was yours. She was very sentimental and thoughtful – always sending you things that reminded her of you or something she thought you would like, enjoy or get something out of.
She appreciated beautiful things… not only material things, but experiences too… like sunsets and the warm wind, the sun on your face. She appreciated art and poetry, literature – Hemingway was one of her favorite authors. And people, too. No matter what your faults were… if drugs or alcohol or past experiences had broken your spirit, she always recognized the good in you, the beautiful part of you…. And she made sure that you knew about it too. It sure seemed as if she was drawn to people who fit this description, perhaps feeling she was meant to help them in some way. She always said what she was thinking…good or bad; she never let the opportunity go by. She told it how it is – always…even if you didn’t want to hear it but, more than likely, you found yourself a better person for it.
She was a tough cookie – I don’t even know of all the things that happened to her during her life here on Earth, but I know enough to know that many times were rough. But she responded to all that life dealt to her with class. And with an attitude that she would not back down, would not go quietly. She was fiercely protective of her family. She was a fighter – she could have been an army drill sergeant, but was cuddly as a teddy bear. She held an intense love for her family and friends. She lived her life how she wanted to born out of many hardships and sacrifices. Even if people didn’t agree with many of the things she chose to do. She lived her life with pride and dignity, no matter what was happening. Some would even recall how stubborn she was… good or bad, that was one of my favorite qualities about her. She would get this little “pucker” on her face when she would dig her heels in, the signal for when you knew it was no use fighting her anymore! She was never afraid to stand up for anything – she had an affecting courage about her and many beliefs and values she stuck firmly to, especially in the face of adversity.
I mentioned that she loved butterflies, and appropriately, I think – because she kind of reminded me of a beautiful one, the way she had so many friends everywhere you went – a social butterfly, daintily flitting from person to person. She kept all of her friends close to her heart; once she let them into her life, she always let them know how much she cherished their friendship.
Everyone knows she was a sun goddess! Frequently brown and bronzed and slick with tanning oil – to this day I can’t smell that coconut-scented oil without thinking of her. The beach was one of her favorite places to be – she and Grandpa went frequently – I’m sure she enjoyed the people watching too. She could spend a whole day doing just that, contentedly.
She taught you how to have fun just by living her life – carpe diem is the anthem by which she lived – seize the day, live for the moment. It’s what she would always say to me – she was so full of life and an energy I will always remember and of course, emulate. She loved life for the adventure, and loved the adventure for the ride. She loved mystery and drama…she was the original drama queen! She could be immature in the most sophisticated of places – just for the fun of it – she got a kick out of the reactions she captured from people. She had a crazy, creative vivid imagination – she loved to tell tall tales and stories – she could have easily written children’s books. They may have been a little twisted but definitely engaging!
Granny was a big kid! Someone who showed you that it was ok to have dessert before dinner if you wanted… that life didn’t have to be boring! You could bend or even break the rules sometimes. I know that this latest observation comes from a spoiled first grandchild, loving her childhood memories of her grandmother – but I know the message was received by others just the same, if only in a different vehicle. I know that I was lucky. I guess I was spoiled, though I didn’t think of it that way at the time – I just felt incredibly loved and happy. I had a granny who was the center of my world – she meant everything to me. I frequently wrote her letters after she moved to Florida informing her that I was going to run away just to come down and see her. I hated being without her.
She always made you feel special - for example, birthdays… it was her “rule” that it was your day to be a princess (or prince!) – to be extra spoiled… She loved to be spoiled, but she knew how to spoil you too – and she did it regularly. And speaking of princesses… she’d always pout if she didn’t get her way – everyone knows the face she used to make! I should say until she got her way, because she always did. You couldn’t say no to her – especially with that look!
Kleptomaniac is a term that would describe her to a tee. I don’t know how many restaurants lost their salt and pepper shakers, steak knives and cloth napkins…even complete strangers weren’t safe from her charms… I once watched a total stranger give Granny his sunglasses – somehow she had coerced him into giving them up happily. And the infamous Donny Osmond story… he finally gave her the picture she wanted and an autograph on the condition that she left him alone to enjoy the Orlando Science Center in peace with his family… she had perfected badgering into an art!!
She was never afraid to look foolish to have a good time or to put a smile on your face. It’s like she knew she was meant to be put on this earth just to make you smile. But this was just my perception - I only knew her as a grandmother; my granny. My recollection of the way she lived. But she had many different roles – a wife, a mother, a sister, a daughter. A friend. So many people would have countless stories about her life from their perspective – we’d be here for days with all of the no doubt hilarious stories told! So, I can only give my point of view – peppered with my own feelings of her life as I knew it…one tiny piece of a life that encompassed so much passion, adventure, appreciation and love. She had so much of an impact on all of our lives and behavior that will be remembered and passed on to our children…we will have that forever.
She loved so many things… but most of all her friends and her family. I imagine she might have thought we all defined her somehow, but I believe it was just the other way around… it think it was her life that shapes us for the better, even now; always looking for something more, never settling for less – carpe diem. It’s good to see so many people here – in her own, familiar, twisted way, Granny would have liked to see this… Thank you all for coming.
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