Arachnophobic Girl, Part 2

So, we all know by now that I have a fear of spiders. Big Deal. I can get over it, right? It's just a silly mind over matter exercise.

Exercise #1: Repeat after me...

They will not hurt me.

They are smaller than me.

There are no spiders in the Northeast that can kill me.

When not confronted with the cause of my fear, I can be tough. I can will away the fact that I need therapy for the sight of an eight legged creature that weighs less than an ounce. Then, I go and do some research on particular spiders to find out if, say, they really weigh closer to an ounce, and the merest glance at an arachnid sketch makes my scalp tingle. Mind over matter?

Then I find one like this in my house, a wolf spider. Ok, again, big deal. We all have to deal with that unpleasantry quite often. Some kill the little beasties, others, like myself, play capture and release. For, while I do find spiders terrifying, I also find them fascinating creatures. If you look really close at one, preferably behind glass, you will see all sorts of interesting features. Their eyes, all 8 of them, are different sizes. The hairs all over their bodies, the "fangs" they have ("the better to EAT you with, my dearie...") and the structure of their legs. The up close view is neat, but quite intimidating.

We have a collection of these Wolf Spiders somewhere on the grounds, and as all spiders like to do, they try to find a warm place in winter. I believe they hibernate most of the season, but if the temperature exceeds 50 degrees, they are back on the prowl.

Our house providing the warm place to lounge, every fall and spring we can expect these beauties to jump out and scare us at any moment. Usually the moment you have started to think they might be gone for the time being. Halloween is a hoot! They pull out all the stops on their very own holiday, leaving us in stitches at their hijinks.

And they are fast! Wolf spiders are so named because of the similarity in hunting styles to it's namesake. It's fast, stealthy and it's eyesight is fantastic, for a spider. Needless to say, it makes them incredibly hard to catch. Especially with a small glass jar and a shaky hand.

I gleaned this fancy tidbit just today:

"Wolf spiders can be found at night by using a headlamp to see their eyeshine. Relatively few spiders have eyeshine."

That is utterly disgusting to me. Blech. Eyes flashing in the night? *shivering in disgust*

And, who does that, anyway? Yuck. Nice hobby.

I do appreciate their beauty, but you'd be hard-pressed to find me gleefully digging in the dirt at night, headlamp on, with the express purpose of excavating a very fast and predatory spider. Not even for Fear Factor...sorry, Joe. I'll sit this one out. Oh, the nightmares I would have!

I think I handle the normal, everyday capture of these wolf spiders pretty well, considering. Though they always shock the heck out of me. I had a hard time last fall because the babies were on the floor constantly, just learning how to roll over. I had to swoop in and extract a few quick and large monsters before they overcame and ate my children.

Well, at least I thought they were large at the time....

In the spring of this year, we had a good season...only a few spiders so far to relocate. If they are past a certain size, I make Mike walk out to the yard or garden and release there. Hopefully, they might smell dinner at someone else's house from there and not return to Casa Ertel.

The spider we did find, the reason behind this whole long-winded article...I made Mike take all the way to the end of the driveway, which required the quad and some shaky nerves on his part. That should tell you something!

We were knee deep in our baby clean-up routine that night, clean 9 bottles, 4 sippy cups, 3 highchairs, dinner dishes, dinner table, living room...I don't really need to give you the whole run down. It was alot! I was washing dishes for about an hour and we were just finishing up. We were standing in the kitchen, talking about the day...and I heard him choke. I looked up at him. My back was to the sink I was just at for hours, and his eyes were riveted to the spot directly behind me. They were almost as big as dinner plates! I knew something was bad since he rarely reacts.

I jumped away from the sink, turning around in midair (what it felt like!) and scanned the drying dishes for the source of his immediate fear.

Then I saw it.

Pictures could do no justice to the hulking form poised on the back of the sink edge. We recognized it immediately as a familiar wolf spider...but it was, by far, the largest one we have ever seen, or since...thank God. It just sat there. Waiting. Projecting menace. It was about to pounce on the cat, I just knew it.


We just stood there, in shock, not believing a spider this big could exist, let alone be in our house and crawling over our freshly washed dishes and bottles. Oh, the emotions I felt...Disgust, fear, shock, disgust - did I mention that one already? Wondering how long it had been in the house? How were we going to catch that sucker? And if we didn't catch it, would it be crawling all over the kids and us overnight while we dreamt of sugarplums and excessively large and hairy tarantulas? Oh, the horror!

We did capture it, after much drama, between restrained squeals and screams...from the both of us. True to its family, this big one was a Speedy Gonzales...and proved tough to catch unharmed. A small jar is usually used to house the many specimens until their transport outdoors...this spider did not fit into it! Unbelievably, we had to use a large mouth Mason jar for its home and Mike drilled holes into the lid so he could stay with us awhile.


He sat on the counter while I made dinner and breakfast and lunch...though not for him. I considered throwing in a mouse, if I could find one...but thought better.



I stared and stared and stared...being so large, his every detail was easy to see...and I am surprised to say, he was beautiful.



As Serendipity would have it, my niece's birthday was the next day. Surprisingly, she likes snakes and spiders and other creepy crawlies...the bigger, the better. Her party was to include a man who works with these types of creatures and he was bringing all of these things into my sister's house! She was so excited. She happened to come over the day we were lodging our new friend. She went wild! She wanted to let him out so we could play with it. Oh, she can't be MY niece!

Jinx sizing him up - she looks somewhat afraid!

Disclaimer here...I know that by any-other-part-of-the-world standards, this would be a baby, but for our neck of the woods, in OUR house, it was a gargantuan. It was big enough for me!

While researching, I found this out a few months ago too: ""Arachnophobia" is derived from the Greek "arachne" (spider) and "phobos" (fear). The Greek word was derived from the name "Arachne," a maiden in Greek mythology whom the goddess Athena turned into a spider after the girl, a skilled weaver, challenged Athena to a weaving contest." Mythology is pretty cool.

Not that it helps me much.

Knowledge isn't always power - it just gives my imagination more material to work with. When I can conjure up even more scenarios about what's under my bed while I am laying in bed, it's never a good thing. Why else would they say "Ignorance is Bliss"?